Thankful

Hi WordPress Community! I hope everyone is well.

When I last wrote a post I had just started my weight loss ‘journey’ in an attempt to reverse my Diabetes. For twelve weeks I shunned solid food in favour of soups and shakes. It was by far the most difficult thing I have ever done. During the final week of the Total Diet Replacement stage, lockdown restrictions had eased enough that we could get away for a few precious days in Devon, my happy place. The weather was unseasonably fine for October and we had an amazing weekend, strolling on deserted beaches and lazing around in our cabin. On the last day, as we were packing for our journey home, I got a text message from my diabetes nurse to say that my blood test results had come back. My diabetes was in remission! This was the best news I could have hoped for and I was on cloud nine.

Back home I attended my next meeting online where we discussed the next stage of this year-long programme, food re-introduction. We were all nervous about eating food again. While I had been away I had eaten the odd meal but I had been very cautious. For the first two weeks we were allowed one 400 calorie meal a day alongside two shakes. During the first stage I had lost 12kg. As I started to eat proper food my weight increased slightly, then levelled out. Then we went into lockdown again.

As Christmas approached I worried more and more about how I was going to manage. We were in Tier 4 so very shortly before Christmas we learned that we would not be able to mix with family members. Our youngest son lives with us but our daughter and son and our grandson do not, although I look after my grandson once a week while his parents are at work. All of a sudden our plans were on hold. I struggled to come to terms with not being able to see anyone. We had pre-ordered lots of food for everyone. Christmas was a quiet time. We watched our grandson open his presents on FaceTime. We sat around all day. I ate lots of food, drank lots of alcohol.

In the New Year I plucked up the courage to stand on the scales. I had gained 3kg. I tried to think positively. We were now in full lockdown, infections and deaths from Covid 19 were at an all time high. I went back onto two shakes a day and one meal, I also used the treadmill whenever the weather was too bad to walk outside. That hour of exercise every day, listening to music and de-stressing, kept me sane. Then the treadmill broke down and so did I!! I’m waiting for a new motor to arrive for the treadmill and I’ve been forcing myself to go outside and walk in the cold and rain. My motivation is low but I’m doing my best.

In other news, I’ve been having a few health issues. A visit to the gynaecology department and some embarrassing examinations featuring a couple of earnest male students who now know me more intimately than most people in my life, revealed that I have some ‘abnormalities’ occurring in my cervix. Ultimately I will probably need a hysterectomy. This was another blow. I have joked before about wishing my reproductive organs would just fall out now that they are no longer needed but the reality is scary. Those pesky bits of lady may be causing trouble but they are the essence of what makes me female, the source of all those hormones, the origin of my three children. Will I be the same person without them? In the grand scheme of things, when so many people are losing loved ones in the most terrible circumstances, it is a small thing to deal with, over and done with in a day these days but it is weighing heavy on my mind.

The one positive during this time is that my baking business is doing nicely. My husband is able to do his job from home, my son works in a bank so he has been working right through the pandemic and the demand for baked treats has been greater than ever so we are all busy right now. I will be baking like mad in the run up to Valentines Day and I’m in the kitchen most days developing my own recipes. I’m not going to be a millionaire any time soon but I get to do what I love as a job which makes me a very lucky girl indeed. I dream of a better time, hopefully not too far in the future when I can hug my family again, eat lunch in my favourite restaurant and get on a plane again and go somewhere exotic. Most of all I hope that after having to postpone twice, my son and his beautiful fiancé will be able to have the wedding they have been planning for so long.

Thanks for reading and stay safe. xx

5 thoughts on “Thankful

  1. It’s great to read your news. Well done on sticking to “the program” – that sounds as if it was tough!
    There have been so many ups and downs this year. I was shocked at how badly December went. It was just a mess!
    I had some gyny issues around 12 years ago – I remember feeling horrified that I was on display for a team of students to have a gander at me – it was rather mortifying!
    Glad to hear the baking business is going well. The macarons look amazing.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I am ok! Working for the NHS is a rather tiring at the moment….but we have an amazing team who have become stronger and stronger this year. We are ok. Just hoping that we can keep going in this demanding time. Life sometimes seems like it’s just work eat sleep eat work eat sleep eat work…but my family send me amazing messages and Jack has been a wonderful support.

        Liked by 1 person

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